Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

~~was~~have i been running or is it just nostalgia?

i think there's a reason it's 'running - no doubt'. yeah. no doubt bout it.

nos·tal·gia - noun
1. a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days.
2. something that elicits or displays nostalgia.

nos·tal·gi·a - noun

1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.
2. The condition of being homesick; homesickness.

verarara. says (12:44 AM):
wah the song making me cry, damn emo sia!
he,who looks so damn good after a shower says (12:45 AM):
yea quite its nice
verarara. says (12:45 AM):
i used to love it a lot
he,who looks so damn good after a shower says (12:46 AM):
u were running away from wat?
verarara. says (12:47 AM):
no. it's just the type of song that makes u sit down and cry a little thinking about every little thing. and it's not exactly an awfully sad feeling. i dunno if you get what i mean.
he,who looks so damn good after a shower says (12:48 AM):
nostalgic
he,who looks so damn good after a shower says (12:48 AM):
werent u using tht word lol
verarara. says (12:48 AM):
haha ya, but i thought i seem to be summing things too plainly with nostalgia.
verarara. says (12:49 AM):
i think some feelings are meant to be undescribeable?

when i listened to the song just now, a lot of things went through my mind so randomly and fast that i cant even pinpoint any now. and i cant even say for sure that those were happy or sad thoughts. it made me feel a little lump at the end of my throat, and it was such a fleeting moment i wonder if i even imagined it.

and when i think bout those possible thoughts that might have crossed my mind then, i realise it's not so bad to cry a little sometimes. yet, the sudden verge of tears was too short-lived than i would wish to.

but sometimes too, like just now, i'd walk a good 5mins with that same lump in my throat over the stupidest and insensible issue. it was a matter of words or time for the tears to fall.

and i remember this from nessa's blog:

Today,
I tried not to cry when I could
and tried to cry when I couldn't,
until now.

sometimes i wish i'll stop evaluating stupid things like this, that i can adhere the foolproof way by simply 'not thinking too much'. probing too much about every little feeling and then realising i've invested too much in it to pull a halt; and then right at the end i dont even know where and how the start came about.

life is a misery for average people like me. why cant i be the wise philosopher that points a finger to anything and just give that knowing smile, and still look smart?

see, i'm so insecure i cant even be sure if i spelt philosopher correctly.

i'm so insecure about where i stand. in this world, in my friends' world, in my family's world.

your boyfriend's friends will always remain as your boyfriend's friends. the affiliation is clearer than any, say, VS boy going into VJ. and the one thing that is most obvious to this point is how they'd call your boyfriend who's 3 train rides away to ask what happened to you when you suddenly decided to head home.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 at 12:47 AM

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