vera in context.
vera's johari
(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!)
ARIES WOMAN
>>
>>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal
>>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things
>>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even
>>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one.
>>She
>>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for
>>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed.
>>
>>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This
>>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face
>>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up,
>>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing
>>or mixture of character.
>>
>>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She
>>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize
>>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will
>>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other
>>people
>>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in
>>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing,
>>nothing will stop her.
>>
>>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another
>>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty
>>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek.
>>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold
>>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she
>>choose you, she will need to be proud of you.
>>
>>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is
>>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She
>>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also
>>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance
>>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do
>>not
>>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love.
>>
>>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come
>>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth
>>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even
>>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident"
>>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you
>>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time.
>>
>>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent
>>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a
>>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most
>>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and
>>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her
>>beautiful
>>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan.
>>
>>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high
>>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will
>>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself
>>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure.
>>
>>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is
>>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person,
>>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing
>>it.
i want/i need.
air. love. food. air. air. air.
one peek. =)
renovating in process.
Friday, January 21, 2005 at 2:15 AM
Y Y Y
this old friend chatted up with me in msn just now. was asking me if i'm still attached and yes, i said, same guy. and she went, wth still that poor freak.. blah blah blah... as usual, i was about to defend my poor guy and tell her how great he actually is, when i stop.
instead, i went on to tell her how horrid he's been. always maximising my flaws, dirty-minded, over-focus at times and everything.. triump ceased to come. and i felt tears rolling down.
i dont know if it's because of camomile's "my love" playing on my hi-fi or the fact i'm retaliating and complaining to the person i'd least talk bad about my bf to.
i dont understand, never will. you said. and you, how much have you understood about me?
i can remember and describe exactly how your face wrinkle and your eyes crinkle into a laugh and how sweet you look that way. i can tell you how i know u hate seeing horrid things and how you'll flinch at the sight of my broken nail. i can tell you how focus you can be at your studies and while you're at it, you'll have this intensed look on your face. i can remember how happy you reacted and how you looked when i bought u lao po bing. i can smile dumbly as i recall how you hate, even the slightest ticklish touch.
you?
that i'm a big spendthrift who doesnt know how to save and likes to splurge all the time? that i'm fat and flabby and unattractive? that i like procrastinating all the time?
yes, i admit i'm all of the above. but guilty? no. and i'm too your gf, imperfect, but still. i might have all of those flaws.
but i'm also able to love you for who you're and even for who you're not. i dont mind taking an hour bus ride to send you your lunch. i dont mind munching on the sandwich with you to save the extra buck. i dont mind visiting hotel81 and not fullerton with you. i dont mind waking up in so early in the morning just to ride on the bus with you. i dont mind just hanging around while you do up your work. i dont mind this penniless you who bought me a $5 big simple cushion for my birthday. in fact, i love this very you.
all of these i can offer. and a lot other more..
for the last time i'll be telling you this, stop pressurising me to change. if you feel you can love me more only after i change to this or that, then i guess i have been wrong about you. if you feel that my imperfections cannot be foreseen, then i guess you've also been wrong about me.
lastly, if you want a perfect girlfriend, visit the factory and get them to manufacture you one with all the latest and best specifications. get a robot.
anyway, on myself right now... i dont understand how he can just go to sleep. i'm supposed to be doing up my portfolio, in fact rushing it now, but i just cant get started on it now. i cant stop my tears either. maybe putting an end to it might lessen the days i get so down and low. then again, i just know i'll never be able to do it..
Monday, January 17, 2005 at 1:07 AM
Y Y Y
woke up pretty early this morning to numerous handphone alarms. my own doing. had to get this invoice done for small black flowers to collect my cheque for the profits from my accessories consignment. $125 for 6days. =D
anyway, i was lazying in my room, listening to nat king cole when my maid walked in. out of _____(suddenly cant remember the word. hahas.), i told her, "very nice right, listen to his voice... dont u feel like cuddling up with someone u love and slurp on some wine..?"
silence.
then, "like ghost lah..."
(-_-)"'
anyway, yesterday was nice. tk came over in the morning to study while i do up my accessories, then we headed to the 'hong kong' shop for noodles as promised. then went around to get my materials for accessories and met up with weiming.
weiming needs to get his inner thighs pumped up. know why? his crotch area is too bulgy, it makes the formal pants he's trying on look weird in the front. like lots of extra cloth dangling around his crotch. lols.
shopped at tangs and far east. only bought a fcuk top while weiming bought a sisley pants and a A/X tee. it's unfair. blah.
ooh, and we caught alfie. 2 thumbs up for their artsy photographs, another 2 for the way it's filmed, so differently. dont think i shall call it romance, cos one-sided love on a man as selfish as alfie(not jude law^^) isn't at all romantic.
had calamari, fried mushrooms, cuppuncino mushroom soup and double chocolate cheesecake at brown box later on.
delicious. yes. but..
almost puke.
Sunday, January 16, 2005 at 9:44 AM
Y Y Y
Ooh... i'm so proud of my skin! lols.. oh, as in my real skin, my face ya.. not my blog skin. aha..
Saturday, January 15, 2005 at 2:34 AM
Y Y Y
one thing about going back to NP.. i feel like some kinda celebrity. ex coursemates going hysterical seeing me, ex classmates hugging me silly. and finally, friends who seem happy to see me but lack of topic to talk about.
somehow it feels so empty. like... shallow.
maybe i shant go back anymore. what's the point anyway. tested and proven that long distance relationships are difficult to maintain, guess it goes with friendships. it's sad but i've tried.
and why always me going the distance anyway... sigh.
Y Y Y
ever since blogger site, in my lappy, turned chinese, i've lost interested in blogging. okay, that's so a big fat lie. truth is, i've been downright lazy. how so? let's start with today.
the last thing i remember about my dream is that i'm gorging down a super delicious, thickly chocolate-fudged cake. then i woke up. it was nice and bright and warm. wait, too warm and bright(you know how earlier in the mornings, it's always cold and dark?). 'must be a saturday,' i thought, 'that's why i'm lying in bed at this hour. well, back to sleep!' but it didnt feel quite right, something seemed wrong. checked my hp and it says 8.45am. sigh, what an early bird i am... -then- i realised, it's a friday and work started at 8.30am. *twist* =D went frantic for awhile, but you know, sleep overcame me.
that's how i ended up starting work at 12pm.
like that's not slack enough. jamie called me at 1pm to report on someone's appearance. and it was my lunch time then. so after lunch, at 2pm, i happily went back to NP. yes, so i worked for a cool hour today. yays!
but i guess i'm not yet a certified 'lum nua' queen.
cos i actually made myself got back to school to accompany tk to his tuition at sembawang. yes, sembawang! you know the fucking place took an hour to reach from np? and singapore is already so small! and freaking annoying buses have to cut costs by providing extra service like suana. might well be using a failed product of nivea's anti-perspiration series. and the bus ride back was worse, practically dripping wet when i got off the bus to flag for taxi. yes, was so frustrated with the heat in the bus that i got down to taxi home.
so there, i kinda feel like a 'tai-tai' today, working one hour and taxi-ing around. =) yiwen, wake up!
ok, to add on to how lazy i can be, i went home about 5pm and slept till 9pm, forgetting that i have a portfolio to complete by monday! but anyway, i woke up cos dad bought me ben's and jerry's ice cream!! okok, i woke up feeling like ben's and jerry's and got dad to buy it for me.. he's so nice to be nowadays! =)
Friday, January 14, 2005 at 11:06 PM
Y Y Y
feeling like a bimbo nowadays seems nice. i'm downright worried about my interview on monday for TP's adm entry but i forgot to ask the person the time of my interview, which she set up for me yesterday. so now, all i know is that it's on monday. *twist* (or maybe i should do the - *giggle hysterically*)
oh yes, to add on to my sudden 'bimboism', i'm thinking.... well, if say, i really cant get into adm this time, maybe i can act real dumb and send in the application form TP sent me last year, on last year's acceptance into their course. maybe, just maybe, they will 'oversee things' and just add me into their list and i'll be happily in the course!
(*giggle hysterically* again)
fuck. i'm still doing almost nothing about my portfolio!
Y Y Y
-= 2004 re-visited =-
*falling in love with the most wonderful man of my life fills a big big part of 2004.
*then lost my precious little thing. (4th of february)
*faye's concert. my very first concert ever.
*got to know some good friends in poly.
*picking up social smoking.
*tattooed.
*child cared in child care centre.
*appearing in fhm and cleo, looking horrendous. -fuck-
*fendi pants. =D (ok, they're 2nd hand..)
*spending $1000 in a day. =(
*batam getaway with nice friends.
*dropping out of school at a tender age of 18. (tears) aww, crap, ok. otherwise known as -in the mid of transferring school- or it'll sound more cool if i put it as -putting myself on a long vacation-
*lost 2 inches on the waist.
*getting a free ceramic hair perm.
*go black..(on my hair of cos, who would want to look like a indian)
*carrying on my family's line...
*by having a small business of my own. =)
*found good food at geylang lor20, kiliney road and bukit merah. (ok, this is silly to put down.. but anyway.)
*touched by this other guy(he's not the carrot la)....
*started to like working for awhile.
*met the richest guy(carrot) i've ever met.
*quit social smoking for good.
*fendi specs!
*planned a rendezvous at hotel 81 -lols- but failed.
*re-vamped my room -half way-
*partied on new year's eve at the worst club. ever. then spending a memorable night with my loved outside great world city. had the yummy brownie from brown box bought by tk, talked about alot of things, slept in each other's arms, shared a nice hot bowl of cup noodles. more cuddling.
2004 has been nice while it lasted. not totally a happening one, but overall, it hasnt been bad. at least, as i flashed back, i feel a little warm and cheery.
2005 is bound to be a year of surprises, i feel.
let me do some resolutions(let's keep it to 10 this year), even if i may well end up not doing most of them. -grin-
1. keep my room neat and tidy. (muahaha)
2. be less lazy when it comes to keeping myself in tip-top conditions. hehs.
3. stop lending money. and stop being over-generous.
4. ok, this is one thing which will never happen. stop being a spendthrift.
5. eat less greasy and fattening stuff, more fruits and vegetables and drink plenty of water. (this is like from a health talk or something)
6. be real focused on studies.
7. work real hard on my little business.
8. go on improving family relationship.
9. stop procrastinating.
10. this is dedicated to the one and only... be more patient with issues, be less aggressive, put more effort in understanding and.. to love only him.
Y Y Y
the night of rendezvous ruined.
a man of foreign land.
who would think of bringing passport for a night of sex.
almost got off the bus ride for a little walk.
then the sudden scrutiny of treasured strangers.
hell no.
cowered, yes.
and then, remorse..
no more wrongdoings.
enough damage done.
and smiles and laughter.
of happiness and joy.
it took so much to realise their love.
separation? never again.
Saturday, January 08, 2005 at 10:41 PM
Y Y Y