vera in context.
vera's johari
(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!)
ARIES WOMAN
>>
>>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal
>>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things
>>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even
>>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one.
>>She
>>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for
>>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed.
>>
>>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This
>>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face
>>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up,
>>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing
>>or mixture of character.
>>
>>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She
>>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize
>>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will
>>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other
>>people
>>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in
>>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing,
>>nothing will stop her.
>>
>>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another
>>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty
>>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek.
>>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold
>>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she
>>choose you, she will need to be proud of you.
>>
>>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is
>>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She
>>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also
>>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance
>>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do
>>not
>>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love.
>>
>>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come
>>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth
>>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even
>>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident"
>>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you
>>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time.
>>
>>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent
>>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a
>>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most
>>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and
>>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her
>>beautiful
>>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan.
>>
>>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high
>>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will
>>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself
>>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure.
>>
>>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is
>>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person,
>>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing
>>it.
i want/i need.
air. love. food. air. air. air.
went sentosa yesterday, had loads of fun and now i'm really charchoal.. yeah. all that resolution to stop going under the sun so much had gone down the drain, but i loved it. sigh, hope that i really wont head down to wrinklesville so soon man! oh and there's frecklesville and hydratedville. lols, so bimboic!
well, isn't it contradicting how we sometimes wish we are older, that we can grow old sooner, but when we really are, we wana stop the clock from ticking away. ok, so i do not really wana grow old. i mean, practically everyone at work thought i was at least 20 years old, goodness me. and they say it's not because of my looks, more of how i'm carrying myself and how i talk. (am i really that 'lao qi?!) anyway, before i carry myself away.. i was saying, i dont wana grow old but there's this part of me that wish that time can go faster than it's. it's weird, but it's something that practically everyone went through.
when i was young, i would dream of being a working adult, able to afford anything in the world. and the one thing i'll splurge my money on is loads and loads of barbie dolls and playdoh.
then somehow barbies and playdoh got boring, and i would sit in front of the mirror, willing myself to grow older. i remember doing silly stuff like pushing my non-existent breast upwards, trying to trim my eyebrows like my mom did and ended up with 2 big holes on my eyebrows and turning up for a passport photo-shoot with that beautiful set of eyebrows.
teenage marked the period of all that sudden consciousness of what was happening to my body. i no longer have those fantasies of having boobies, so as to be able to fit in my mom's ulgy dresses. i hated that change i saw, and luckily i have not sprouted an disgusting pubic hair-till now. =D yeah, but i was damned embarrassed by my growing tits and eventually my monthly menses, especially so cos i always stained my uniform in school! i guess, that was when i kind of hope i'm still a kid, mindless of all that bothersome routines to put on bras whenever i change and tearing away gruesome pads(girls, you know what i mean).
nevertheless, i got adjusted to those changes and then came my crushes. and those different influences that surrounded me. that was when i wished o to grow up again, so that i can have more freedom and everything. anyone who knows me and how my parents are, will know what i mean.
now, getting older to me has its good and bad side, the good side namely stuff that i'll look forward to. ok, let's start with the goodstuff. growing up means more freedom from my parents, more say, having the ability to move out, better job, more nights out, finally able to club till i drop, marrying he-whom-i-love-alot, having his child, our own home.... okok, that's getting too far, but well, i have to admit i do dream bout those stuff.. ok, now the bad side, i hate looking old, i hate having a 2-figure age with not enough space on the birthday cake to put up all the candles, i hate having to start stocking up on anti-aging creams, i hate it when my skin starts to sag and my breasts stop defying gravity, i hate the responsibilities that also come with age.
why cant i do what i want at whatever age i'm?! why must my stupid parents be a barrel to my happiniess? darn, where am i getting to? another blog about them and their endless irritating behaviour? nah, i've enough of that. i just cant wait to move away from them, cant wait to have my own child and giving her what i've missed myself.
oh, where did all the talk about aging and stuff started from?!! haha.. k, back to sentosa.. mmm.. actually nothing much, i just had fun and i love that tan i've just gotten. but i was kind of disappointed with him not turning up in the end, i mean he promised man! oh, then i ate lots yesterday also!! glutton! and only managed to take one picture cos su's camera low batt.
hmm.. i really must go on a diet!! i'm eating way too much these days! is it pms?? i mean, i just had crab dinner with wm n him on thurs night. (oOh.. the butter crab was delicious man!!!!) then the next day i "gluttoned" away again and today too-cos i rotted at home. was damned bored, so got food to entertain me. hehs!
Saturday, May 29, 2004 at 11:06 PM
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a mixture of feelings..
crappy blogger, tried something for so long(shHh, smth between cassan n i), everything just screw up in the end. that's the reason why i'm staying up so late today. guess it wont be done tonight, too tired man. working at stila tomorrow at 12 anyway. *pls remind me to wake up early to find the stuff sp wants!* -gosh-
ok anyways, went out with
him on thursday, after my 3hours Stila training. (wonder why up till now i'm still not comfortable with calling him dear/darling/whatever in my blog. so it's always either 'him' or 'tk'. so in case anyone is wondering, dear is tk who, is also
him-that's all-) it has been quite a long time since he spent so much on a date with me, i dont have to explain why. it has mostly been dutch dates with him, and i'm perfectly fine with that, but on wed, he actually paid for movies and a scrumptious supper at chompchomp. *dont you just love chompchomp??!* we watched van helsing, quite a good show -but you see, i've just watched Troy today, so the rating for VH has gone down quite abit-. yep, so he also got us popcorn and we had loads at chompchomp. ohoh, and we did the crappy watch "just married" dvd on my lap top in the bus thingy. however this sudden treat thing is cos my dad gave him our all-in-one printer, which i got free from my laptop purchase. thus, he got to save quite abit and can spend this on me. of course, i was more than happy. i dont mean that by saying so, i'm contradicting with the i-dont -mind-his-financial-status thingy, it's more like, how do you put it? ok, well, every girl more or less likes to be pampered and once in a blue moon thing makes it all the more sweeter. it kinda feels like, i'm getting what i deserve after putting up for so long? yeah. then he went on the sweetie mode, thanking me for holding on, loving him and stuff.. and ya, i totally like what Tom's dad said to Tom in the show just married. he went, "Sarah is a girl who doesnt need a guy with a fat wallet to make her happy." yeah, neither do i.
well, then on wednesday i went out with this colleague bud, stella. she's completely cool, everyone's her darling or dear. such a sweet and outgoing person. and we bitched about our former colleague who backstabs and fucking has no character in dressing at all. i mean, the copying people's styles and buying what people first wanted then asking that person not to copy her. blah!!
hmm, i started work on friday at paragon metro. then moved on to ck tangs on sat. managed to wow myself by hitting daily target($655), second day at work. *grins*
saturday night spent with cassan, after work. went to shop around, didnt buy much except that super duper great top that comes with a pasam malam bag! then had dinner at coffee club and took loads of neoprints. really happy night.
sunday? ok, let's skip that for the moment. really need to sleep!! nitey..
Monday, May 17, 2004 at 1:51 AM
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had been a long long time since i last blogged, and even my last entry is crap. yep, so i do want the phone, but i have to admit, there's still a whole long list of other "oOh, i must have that!!" blast it, i'm broke. fucking tuition agency owing me money, stupid loreal paying ny on the 23rd and i'm on a debt of almost 200bucks for my hp bills, my mom's visa(of which, i swear she initially promised to pay for me-damn)and a coouple of peeps a close 70bucks. fuck, talk about being financially responsible. and i still want that 700bucks hp. argh, must it be that expensive?! i mean, it's supposed to be a mass production product and.... ok, forget, it's not gonna change anything.
oh anyway, as i was saying, it has been a long time since i last blogged. reason being is that i was really busy working. yeah right. loreal roadshow ended on the 2nd of may, and since i've been bumming around.. ok, was feeling... not much point to blog anymore? i mean, baring almost everything about myself to everyone? didnt really brood about that before, probably cos i've kind of treated this blog thing as.. like something to communicate with this someone. ok, let's stop there, dont wana go into that anymore.
so why blogging now? i found my own need to blog, for myself.
ok, about my job-the previous one, loreal. terribly tiring job, had to stand all day(8hrs) to 24 consecutive days, with only 1 day off. fuck that loreal manager who hired us(right, liyin?). so anyway, i've decided to stop working for them even if they're paying us $6/hr(which is peanuts compared to my Cult promoting and Sandisk job). gonna start working for Stila this coming thursday-woohoo!! simply love their fabulous makeup stuff and i just wana work for them even if they're paying only $5/hr cos it's suppose to be quite a cool job. i get to learn makeup skills and on top of that, i can get a 30% discount on their stuff!! shit. oh, then on saturdays and sundays, i'll be promoting for gatsby product-lu'cido at heeren's basic beauty. then there's my tuitions for my cousin and this pri5 girl. haha, i'm really working hard for the stuff i want.
oh, my brother, he's selling boxers and undies at the citylink!! the thought of it always makes me want to laugh. there was one day, he came home and tell us that citylink organised a lucky draw thingy or something like that. and he sat there worrying all day that the host might say something like, "the winner is, oh that guy selling undies!!" hehs!
oh, there are alot of good shows coming on now! must watch troy and van helsing and the day after tomorrow and SHREK2! watched dawn of the dead twice, quite good show if you, really grasp your attention and make you all tensed up but it lacks of a better storyline-didnt really tell us what exactly is that 'thing' spreading around. then there's faye's concert, i really really wana catcg that. i have to admit, i have never been to a concert before, which makes me moe excited bout going to faye's, plus she's totally great. problem, gotta find someone interested to go with me cos i know tk wont ever want to spend that money there.
next, i need to change my attitude towards people. did something rude to my aunt and shocked myself. regrets. anyway, she was kind of in the wrong too. ya but, she's my aunt-i know. ok anyway, it's over, i apologised and she's fine.
tk's existence in my house(he's tuitioning my sis) is sort of making me conscious of my actions-at home. dont know if i should walk around with my crappy-i'm-at-home hair and stupid clothes, in the end i did. haha. and the fact that my mom knows him now, is kind of pressuring cos she has been telling stuff he's not supposed to. like the fact that i used to strip to my undies and lie on the cold floor to cool myself when i got back from school-my kindergarten days. lolx. and ya, also stuff like, when i was rude to her once, and she sms him and he talked to me about it. oh my, it makes me feel like tk's my dad. sheesh..
oh yeah, and guess what, i've got a new laptop. it's benQ joybook and i get to have a BenQ mp3 player for free. well, not something to be that proud bout but i really love it all and the fact that dad bought this $2500 thingy for me, without much hesitation, even when we've both upsetted each other so much. thanks dad.
hmm.. and i've set my mind in moving on and totally forget about this person. i really do have to let go, plus my pride and ego is weighing on me. ok, i'd better stop cos all my droning on about this person kind of makes me seem like i'm talking about my ex-lover or something. completely idiotic.
ok, i'll see this blog again pretty soon.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004 at 12:51 PM
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