hello there.
i'm dedicating this song to myself:
STUCK IN A MOMENT
By: U2
I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company
I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere, baby
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
I will not forsake, the colours that you bring
But the nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I still listen through your ears, and through your eyes I can see
And you are such a fool
To worry like you do I know it's tough, and you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now... my oh my
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Oh love look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm till you discover how deep...
I wasn't jumping... for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all
You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better now
You're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it
And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass
And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along the stony pass It's just a moment
This time will pass
i guess i wont be doing the long long 'closure' entry, as initially planned. i mean, there's so much to talk about but what's the use. it's over and nothing said matters anymore.
ok, maybe just one little thing for you.
the art of losing
by -- elizabeth bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
<>i came across this poem in the show 'in her shoes' and immediately i thought of you. there is a courageous pretense built into this poem that I like. and like what's said in the movie, the poem isn't really about losing a lover. it's more of losing a friend.
the period might be short, but i guess during that period i depended(meet/find/talk/lean) so much on you that you're like a best friend, albeit for a very short while.
i will always remember all that calls and msn chats i never do with anyone else. you taught me to smoke people and i can do it pretty well now. all the nonsensical talks about kingkong and superman and your quick-wit on thinking of the stupidest yet smartest things to catch up on our rubbish talks. and i'll never forget how you've seen something good and want to share it with me(talegadia nights), though we didnt get around doing it, but i really appreciate that thought. you staring at me and wanting to take that memory down in photography really makes me feel good. getting me to help you make decisions on stuff you cant decide on makes me feel important.
and the best of everything about you is your kiddish enthusiasm that exudes the most when mambo-ing. the picture of you doing dancing queen will always be in my mind.
when people say, 'it's only a short while, how attached can you be that you have to be this upset.' i can only shrug and say i dont know. thing is, i do know, but it's hard to explain or prove myself right. it's all these feelings that you ignited in me during this short while that makes me see how happy i feel i'll be with you.
but i know, having said i love you, i have to let you go.
but you have to tell me you are happy now. i have to hear it from you. ocs if you're really happy with everything as it is now, i'll be happy for you too. that's why i kept asking how are you. and your single word answer 'ok' isn't gonna help cos it makes me wonder if it's an in-between feeling you've got. it makes me wanna hold on and try harder and touch you.
but i've come to realise, i cant keep pressing for something you dont want to/cant give.
so i'm taking bigger steps back and away. and hopefully move on. like you asked me to.
lastly, thank you.