Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

cherish and content.
it's ironic how girls(prob not all girls, but the handful i know?) work with relationships.

there are the ones who always advice not to fall in love and get hurt, yet you see them falling in love and getting hurt as soon as they advice. there are the ones who never stop talking about wanting to fall in love, yet never do, but, still happy. there are the ones who talk of strong principles yet find it hard to apply when in love.

i would very much like to think that i've a very balanced out love life. when crystal said she cant stand it when friends fall in love and start neglecting other friends. and i just nodded in agreement. i thought everyone should have a balance with spending time with the respective love ones. yet when i'm in love, i find it a rule hard to abide to. and i end up scheduling every single day for him.

jo said, 'and of cos u've gotta balance it out too. not don't fall in love. just dont lose urself when u do. don't give up your life for the guy, unless u're absolutely sure he's worth it and he's gonna be the one u spend ur life with. ;) u gotta do what you like, he's gonna wanna do what he likes with or without you, and you can do things the both of u like to do together. always balance. like balanced diet, balanced scale, all as impt.'

she pretty much summed up what i believe in too. yet it's just so hard when you know you want to see that particular someone day after day and it takes a damn long while to suddenly feel that you're missing the friends you've been neglecting. or is it just me?

and i cant help but worry silly small thoughts like,
what if he gets sick and tired of seeing me everyday?
what if he doesnt want to see me today?
what if he starts taking things for granted?
what if he sees it as i'll ask to meet up when i want to so there's no need for him to ask to meet up when i dont?

all the whatifs scenarios i can think of even though i know deep down it's probably not gonna happen. like i was just telling joy today, "no matter our workload, we tend to push it off just to squeeze ample time to spend with them, then rush like crazy to finish the work. yet we hardly se them doing the same for us huh?"

i think love seems to have a lose-lose situation to it. when we have a perfect and complete relationship, we fear of losing it and having to pick ourselves up all over again. when we have the bastard boyfriends, we fear of not being able to let go nor hang on.

or am i too pessimistic? *shrugs* i do seriously fear of falling and having to pick myself up all over again.

and so there are the ones supposedly have happy and good relationship yet damage everything themselves by worrying the smallest silliest things.
hey, why doesnt he blog about me does that means that he's not that happy about how things are going?
hey, why doesnt he sms me now?
hey, why is he spending so much more time with his friends all of a sudden?
hey, why doesnt he post pictures of us in his friendster, he doesnt like those pictures?

and yes, shamefully, i'm guilty of similar worries stated above. and i know how stupid and pathetic it is to not see the whole big picture yet focus on the small unimportant ones.

alright, so maybe what i really need to do is spend more time with my friends. do the things i want or need to do as and when. get down to real business with schoolwork and give it more prority than i've been giving it. (and maybe i can see if he'll start asking me out instead?) haha! you see!! argh. it's just in me.

pfft. girls. i'll never understand them! haha!!

alright. so the most important thing, in love, and in life too, is to be contented with what i already have. how he calls me 'baby' like it's the most natural thing even though i feel too huge to be called one, how he says i'm like his 'shampoo and facial foam.. must have everyday!', how he kisses my sweaty forehead and says he loves me... =)

oh, i just remember about this thought i was having in the afternoon. how much do i actually know my parents? sadly, i think i know most of my friends better than i do of my own parents.

today, after the usual lunch affair with the family, my parents rushed me from places to places to just settle my problem of not having a sewing machine at home. it was to PS first for the initial plan of buying one. then to grandma's then aunt's to borrow. then finally the old house to get the really old and huge one that's not been in use for ages.

the old house was where i grew up in, where my grandma brought me up. stepping into it again gave me such fond memories, yet it seems like all the familiarity with the house isn't there anymore. what's left behind is a thick black layer of dust and cobweb. there's this feeling bout it i cant explain.

oh anyway, it was just dad n i at the house and we had to carry the huge sewing machine down to the porch and put into the car. and i didnt know he measures things the way i do too! it's hard to explain how he did it, but it's the left finger to right finger = 1 feet, visually cut the machine into number of feet. uh, you know? ha. and i got pretty excited and told him i measure things like that too.

and after we both carried the machine down the flight of stairs, he started shifting it nearer to the car alone. and he said, 'wow, i didnt know you have so much strength. it's so much heavier when you're carrying it with me and i thought the machine's pretty light when we're climbing down the stairs.'

it feels pretty good with us talking like that. dad and i always seem to have this communication barrier between us. or should i say, dad has a communication barrier with most people except my mom. haha.

and so, half a day he's wasted to get a sewing machine for me and to order me a new mattress to replace the old one. i love you dad, though i have never said it to you.

oh and before i forget, i love how he's responsible in teaching his children to be considerate. the other day we were eating at the hawker and i blew my nose and placed my tissue beside the plates we've emptied of the food. and he told me to throw it in the bin myself cos the cleaners shouldnt be clearing that for me.it made me feel so proud of having him for my dad. =)

alright. on my schoolwork, i'm pretty much prepared to see lynn tomorrow with the work i've gotten done for design studio. and i know i'll be able to get my sewing done in time by tues for submission. of the record, this weekend i've done:
-sewing of the mock piece of the final garment
-60 theme designs
-6 selected pieces
-chosen fabric
-redrawn final garment's pattern drafting
-moodboard
-cut out fabric for actual piece of the final garment to sew tomorrow
-technical drawings

yeahyeahyeahs! =))) i'm so so proud of myself.

Monday, October 30, 2006 at 3:03 AM

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