one more hour and it marks the end of the day i start 20.
and again i'm crying so hard.
why doesnt anything go right? ="([edited]
the cig shaking in my hand
my room reeking of the other 2 i just had
and my nose, bleeding, having cried so hard
and by the end of the cry
i dont even rmb what i was crying for
or if there's even any need to get so upset over it
it's stupid
i fucked my start of the 20th year up myself
like the past 4months i had
i'm the stub of my own fuck ups
i think too much, so they said
why am i such an emotional wreck
- doing my visual hw in the afternoon when the electricity jumped and my com got switched off and all the work that i was doing the past 3hours is as good as being flushed down the toilet bowl. (it's ok, i can always re-do)
- birthday wishes. the ones i thought would, never come. (i have other sweets and unexpected ones too)
- spotting the single status which led to thoughts i didnt wana think bout hte past 24hrs.
how much effort have u put in givin me a nice bday? (he did give me the best he could. i was being silly)
- members sms-ing me that the work they're supposed to do cannot be done in time. (eventually everything will work out)
- dad lashing me bout the slightest things-like, i wana order soup during dinner (he was the one who suggested bringing me to jack's place for my bday. i should be happy bout it)
- bro teasingly insulting and insulting me i cant take it no more (he's always like that)
- mom knows bout the reconcile (doesnt matter, sooner or later issue)
- and the media hw i've done in school says corrupted files, which i'm already late in submission (i have the next 24hrs to re-do in school)
this is my birthday. weee. (it's ok, birthdays are just self-conjured days to be celebrated. there are better things to look forward to)