Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

'Goodmorning.i know ya dont wana see this.think i think abt it thoroughly and decided that we cant just start a time out with so many issues unresolved.i read ya blog this morning and thought there're things we need to discuss abt.timeout is time for us to cool,but not to severe msudst.just once.wed?'

these were your exact words. i got joy and eepei to help me read but both couldnt really deciphere what you're trying to say at some parts, until i explain to them your composition mistakes, and that's just cos i know you well. it shows how sincere you're in wanting to make things right between us. how long really, does it take you to reread your msg to see if it's deciperable before hitting the send button? you cant even dedicate full attention on something you deem important to you.

today, i suddenly remember how i moved on after the break up with you the last time. and yes, you're right, it was pretty easy for me. i was heartbroken and cried for a couple of days. then gradually, i got tired of even thinking of you, and to cry about losing you. and then i kept myself busy hanging out with friends, with work, with studies. i kept myself entertained. preoccupied.
and there, it feels just like when i am in a relationship with you. except that i dont live through every single day, wondering...and hoping... if i'll be able to see you today. if we'll have a nice enjoyable day if i do see you. how much attention will you shower on me when we do go out. and how much will i be on your mind when we dont.

but by saying these, i'm not saying that this time round, in this time out, i'm gradually putting you out of my mind, i'm trying to move on without you. no.
because i too remember though i seemed to have moved on then, deep down i still cant get over the fact that we both love each other so much but we just cant work out. i remember the countless nights when i just cant gt myself to sleep cos i was thinking and missing you that i typed out painful long msges for you, but never having the courage to hit the send button.

so stop calling or smsing me until you're really ready to put our past behind you and start anew with me. i dont want to be reminded of the pain i'm trying to stash away while you're away. i want to live through each day feeling at the very least, peaceful.
let me be selfish this once.

and about what you said about the misunderstandings we still have and the stuff we need to discuss about. leave it. there arent much misunstandings, really. it's just a matter of perception. the fact is that you're so stubborn you just cant make yourself change your way of thinking and really really understand my feelings. you just keep thinking of your own stand and stood by your own stand, thinking that you cant be wrong and thus, you keep having the idea that i'm the one misunderstanding you.
timeout isnt just about cooling down. it's also to let us both think through these so called misunderstandings between us. if those are more important than the person we love. timeout is to see how much we love each other. pr should i say(since i suggested it), how much you love me, need me, and want me to be back with you to thus, be able to put the past behind.

but then again. we can all sum it up as... it's not your wrong. nor mine. we're both not wrong. we're just too different. and maybe thus, incompatible. that's what joy's been telling me. she feels disappointed at what you said in our msn conversation. but she sums it to be that you're just not for me.
but the length of difference between us, we already know. and i've made myself embrace it. we cant help the fact that we have fallen for each other. so now, we've to try to work on making the differences, compatible.

i remember i was listening to dj Audrey on class95(i think) once. and she was telling a love story and she asked for listeners to sms in what they think love should be.
i went on listening for 15mins of countless people saying different things bout love and alot went like, 'love is when i find someone who's compatible to me.' 'love is bout finding someone who shares a lot in common.' 'i found someone last month who shares the exact same interests with me and i think i fall in love.'
so i sent in this message: 'love isnt about finding someone who's similar or compatible with you. love is something that you fall helplessly into and you make the differences compatible and the similarites sweeter.'
and before Audrey read out my sms, she said something like, 'oh i like this one. it pretty much sums up what i think...' *and she reads out my sms* then she said, 'yes, i think that's very true. we cant help falling in love with the wrong people sometimes, can we?'

Monday, April 24, 2006 at 11:15 PM

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