Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

messaged lj, eliza, and doreen in msn at bout 10plus pm. and all 3 didnt reply... until 11plus pm when i really wanted to sleep badly.
but when i finally lie in bed, i just cant fall asleep. there's this sense of desperation running in me i cant quite deciphere. restlessness? the lists of things-to-do kept running through my mind and unwillingly, i started gauging how much time i'll need to do this and that. how much stuff i can try getting done between when and when. etc..
and so it got me messaging Kim if he'll please extend our dateline for visual studies. not so much of really wana procrasinate everything to hand in next week, but more as a back up plan. like reassuring myself that at least if so and so didnt manage to get this and that done by tmr, at least i've a back up. and then perhaps i can go to bed easier.
and thankfully he said yeah, try finishing half of our work and catch up next week. and it got me pretty excited and i thought of sandra's group facing all sorts of problems so msged her the good news. then i thought of eliza's workload and too msged her the good news.
and the domino-effect of events happen next kept me awake till now.
and after crying my heart out and my eyes sore, i'm no longer tired.
think i'm gonna continue my portfolio stuff now.

anyway, meaning to blog the following on sunday but didnt have time.
for eepei, eliza and sandra who have both got their share of bad days...

The Promise by* When In Rome
If you need a friend, don't look to a stranger,
You know in the end, I'll always be there.
But when you're in doubt, and when you're in danger,
Take a look all around, and I'll be there.
I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will.
When your day is through, and so is your temper,
You know what to do, I'm gonna always be there.
Sometimes if I shout, it's not what's intended.
These words just come out, with no gripe to bear.
I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you...
I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will.
I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, I need to tell you...
I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
But if you'll wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you...
I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise you, I promise you I will. I will. I will.

msg me if u guys want me to send u the song. it's from the show napoleon dynamite and i thought the song is very good.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 at 1:23 AM

Y Y Y

Who Am I?I'm China Man!!! says:
okok..I really like this pic...damn cute..
Who Am I?I'm China Man!!! says:
you too..and I love you even in my dreams...
Who Am I?I'm China Man!!! says:
take care

=) made my day.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006 at 10:56 PM

Y Y Y

wed: drizzle.
thurs: downpour.
fri: rain.
sat morning: the clouds seem to be moving away.
sat afternoon: pretty sunny.
sat night: thunderstorm.
what will tomorrow bring?
oh man. is prozac nation's curse coming true?

and this headache i've been having. it's so bad my head starts twitching sometimes. pretty worried so i'm off smoking. with many other reasons of course.
and now, i'm gonna sleep on it.
let the sun be shining bright tmr, pretty pretty please.

Sunday, March 19, 2006 at 1:32 AM

Y Y Y

Just As I Am

I've had a lot of big dreams
I've made a lot of bad moves

I know you could walk away

But you never do

I've met a lot of cold hearts

I've learned to smile and deceiv

eI know I'm hard to be around

But you never leave

I'm not easy to understand

But you hold out your hand

And you say you love me

Just as I am

You always treat me

The best that you can

You say you want me, need me

Love me, baby

Just as I am, just as I am

I've made a lot of heartaches

I've found a lot of closed doors

When all the others turn away

You love me more

I'm not easy to understand

But you hold out your hand

And you say you love me

Just as I am

You always treat me

The best that you can

You say you want me, need me

Love me, baby

Just as I am, just as I am

I want to love forever

To keep our world together

And be the best that I can be

Baby, every time the world caves in on me

And you say you love me

Just as I am

You always treat me

The best that you can

You say you want me, need me

Love me, baby

Just as I am, just as I am

i am sorry for the hurt you had to go through when i left but i dont regret the detour i had taken before returning. it makes me understand how much i do love you and how much i cant just forget you. you are the only one i've ever thought of walking till the end of the road with and though for a while this idea dimmed out on us, this time i'm more than sure that it's gonna happen.

and most importantly, i'm finally able to see how much you do actually love me. yes, i once doubted your love, if you were with me under certain circumstances. but now i know...

and you've always love me, just as i am.

Thursday, March 16, 2006 at 12:22 AM

Y Y Y

update on photos...

the photoshoot rina did of me for her photography assignment. cant decide which colour is nicer, do comment to let me know what you think. =)

poised1

poised 2

bimbah1

bimbah2

bimbah3

26th feb 2005

asian aerospace, thanks to my aunt whose company gave her 10 free tickets to the show. i had fun irritating big head that day. haha.

8th mar 2005

sentosa trip with mr big head again. tanned and swam and had sakae sushi for lunch. and then, free luge rides!!! =P

12th mar 2005

at suntec's waterfountain. a big detour and then finally back on the track again.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 at 11:39 PM

Y Y Y

words of an angel all the way from aussieland... *muahs*

3/14/2006 11:03:19 PM
prata, chicken rice, and chilli. lots of chilli.:
girl?? you're veryvery sexy. yet still goofy and approachable. know that- knowledge is power. with your physical attributes, you don't need to take crap from any guy at all. you deserve better. you're beautiful girl. not cos you're my friend, but because you are.
3/14/2006 11:04:02 PM
prata, chicken rice, and chilli. lots of chilli.:
don't let anyone bring you down. one life. yours. live it well. don't EVER let anyone bring you down.
3/14/2006 11:04:42 PM
broken chin and a sewn on heart.:
huh? what re u talkin bout??
3/14/2006 11:04:43 PM
broken chin and a sewn on heart.:
haha
3/14/2006 11:05:53 PM
prata, chicken rice, and chilli. lots of chilli.:
reading your blog babe. sudden inspiration. haha.
3/14/2006 11:05:54 PM
prata, chicken rice, and chilli. lots of chilli.:
so.. yea.
3/14/2006 11:06:03 PM
broken chin and a sewn on heart.:
haha.. thanks alot dear.. =)
3/14/2006 11:08:41 PM
prata, chicken rice, and chilli. lots of chilli.:
hee. one day, bring me to the beach. i wanna sit down with you and smoke my way thru a packa ciggies. donno why. but i just want to. with you. and we can talk the whole way thru. =)
3/14/2006 11:08:41 PM
prata, chicken rice, and chilli. lots of chilli.:
and bitch!!
3/14/2006 11:11:27 PM
broken chin and a sewn on heart.:
hahahha yesyesyes!!!

i cant say how much i am looking forward for cassan and xinyu to be back! and yes, i shall cam whore with cassan to fulfil her wish to have a friend who takes nice photos for her, when we go to the beach!! =)

anyway, on today, i thought today will be jammed packed with activities and so decided i wouldnt be free to meet up with joy. but guess what, i went to the library to meet up with the group only to learn that sandra isnt coming after all. i cant deny i was rather pissed then. if she isnt gonna make it and she knows we'll be meting up for a suppoedly discussion then she should at least inform me so that i know my being there wouldnt be needed and i can jolly well stay home and do my drawing instead of wasting my time and trip down.

so anyway, bummed alone at the library for awhile... yes alone cos eliza had to go off early and within a half hour, zoe also did. and had dinner at Hans alone when i learnt that nice mr Tk wouldnt come to the rescue either. haha. oh wells, then i thought of something and i had it penned down:

15th mar, 6.15pm

i suddenly have a thought. here i am sitting by myself at Hans and struggling with this mean and stubborn piece of steak that's got fucking veins so annoying i cant cut through them, and all of a sudden, i became very self-conscious of what i am doing and even began looking left and right to see if anyone has became so disgusted at the way i was cutting the meat that he/she is staring right at me. of course i didnt see anyone staring at me. apparently, accroding to eepei, only vera notices people in un-graceful acts and make the attention centered there. haha.

well, it got me thinking... is it possible that this sense of self-consciousness becomes more significant because i am alone? yes. cos if i were to be with companion, i'd definitely mimmick my cutting through the meat with such comical expressions that we'll soon be hysterical laughter. and i wouldnt even care bout what others might be thinking bout me. exacto! ironically, i've always tell myself and friends that i dont very much care bout people's opinions of me, esp of those who are mere strangers.

so then, does this self-opinionated decision of not fearing others' opinion of me apply only when i'm ion the comfort zone of having friends around me? what happens if life is differet and i were to be a loner with no friends, will i still be this person with a head-strong character and not mind people's opinion of me? will i be like that girl we see in 10 things i hate about you or will i be a loner who is forever so self-conscious of what i do and what i might do wrong?

smoking has turned my nails yellow. but who's to say that my nails wouldnt have turned yellow if i were to constantly change my nail colours everyday.

Y Y Y

mediacorp should change their name to mediacrop. moulin rouge was so bloody badly cut and shorten by them. and for what? the godamn fucking advertisement. bullfuckingcrap.
i love love love the movie so much. and it's lost its little details that's made it perfecto. i like movies with small details. nevermind if it's got no exact direction, i'll bite into good small details that imprint a little something in me. that's why i love elizabethtown too.

anyway, eepei spent the night over at my place last night. had prata and hokkein mee then did print-making till bout 11ish and bluffed her mom she missed her last train so she had to stay. tsk. to think that her mom likes and trusts me so much man. heh.
*never trust your children's friends to easily* hehe.
so we had the whole night all planned out to be a girly night. right on our list was: horror movie on my lappy, nail-painting, facial treats for each and listening to jazz and talking.
ended up doing facial treat for eepei who's such a wimp at blackhead-removing that i wished to have her pinned on all fours. finally did facial masks and such for my age-deterioriating face after like a whole fucken year of procrastinating? my, time flies.
then went out for second round of prata but realised shop's closed so we came back and had instant noodles and sandwiches instead. vera treats her guest well, right eepei? heh. then caught Saw for the 32958329039th time and eepei doesnt really get the ending. sigh. and i used to like it, now i'm sick of it. painted our nails and slept bout 6am.
got up at 10 and headed to town for breakfast at Hans then eepei had to work. poorthing. if only she doesnt hafta work, we would have plenty of time to sleep in!
then again, what a self-indulging day! heh. and i loveee WOO EEPEI!! woooo...
and did i mention i love having friends over for stayovers?? =D

oh yes, and good news, i no longer think of shawn. yays. =)
bad news, i have taken a liking to smoking before sleeping. adding on to the sticks i have to smoke after meals so that(i dunno why) i feel i digest faster and dont put on that much weight(lols). which is, very bad, it's like back to the old fucken days when i smoke heavy, which i still dont like.
oh wells, i mean, i like smoking-a lot. but i dont know, there's this thing in me that's been hinting myself to quit too. and my bro's been teasing that he knows i'm smoking at home and wana tell on me. i know he wouldnt but i'm just stupidly risking myself to be yelled at by my rents. this is silly, maybe i should just cut down and then quit. but then again, i dont feel the determination to. i know that when i feel that determination, i will. but right now, i just dont want to. and i'm not even the least bit addicted please.
and right now, i'm back to smoking marlboros(i love). i'm thinking, if i think it's expensive, then at least i will make it a point not to burn my money so fast. so maybe, i wont smoke that much, but you know what, like real. bahaha.

Sunday, March 05, 2006 at 10:43 PM

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