Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

stayed home today to watch the dvds that have been stacking up in my room un-watched since start of school this year.
caught love me if you dare for the umpteenth time. before the show, was all the trailers on some look-like-pretty-good shows. so i really wish to catch all these before school starts. =(
-i'll sleep when i am dead.
-Northfork. (seems like an awfully nice show)
-and now ladies and gentlemen.
-the reckoning.
-the united states of Leland.
i really appreciate classics as such, untouched by animations and special effects. eg. good will hunting.

anyway on re-watching love me if you dare.
it reminds me of the good ol days where i fashioned love in a crazier way.
no judging/weighing similarites n differences.
how i used to do just about anything for the one i loved.
didnt mind sitting by the bus stops for hours just to catch that glimpse.
held on and on, hoping i can just survive on my love itself.
not that i no longer do these.

of course, i still believe in this:
giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back.
dont expect love in return.
just wait for it to grow in their hearts.
but if it doesnt, be content it grew in yours.

but i guess as time pass by, as we i grow older,
i've found the need to give myself happiness,
a little more than giving others, first.
i still find myself giving in a lot in relationships.
just that when taken for granted,
i wont hang around too long anymore.

and ironically,
i still wish to do the craziest things in love.
like climbing onto cars and kissing as though the world doesnt exist.
or burying this love in cement so that it stays beautiful, forever and ever.
sometimes,
we've got a dark and fearful need for everything to remain a certain wonderful way,
unspoilt by all the humanly commitable silly mistakes.
maybe that's why i choose to let go of relationships faster, now.
to let go now,
before everything sours.
before both parties stop remembering the beautiful times we used to share,
but only the tiffs we had to go through.
because, at least i can say,
when people look back and regret on not having treasured what was there,
people think of the good and happy times.
not the ugly shit.

and i suddenly have got this thought. maybe tk and i, we both held on too long in the relationship, that we stop remembering the happy times we had. both of us keep thinking how much we've tried in the relationships, or how much we've changed ourselves for each other-though probably we havent really.
our constant thoughts of how things has been souring.
how much the other party doesnt seem to be trying anymore.
scaring off the very hope that everything beautiful can ever revive again.
both having experienced what we've feared,
we fear even more of it happening again.
thus we dont try as hard as we should have, anymore.

just a thought. it may change.
for now, i'm gonna embrace spending christmas alone.
early merry christmas.

Friday, December 16, 2005 at 5:02 PM

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