cant really believe that i'd tear, just by watching 'the sisterhood of the traveling pants'.
alright, so that was crying.
and pretty hard.
it's almost like crying all the tears i've been keeping in me all these while.
yeah, it has to be.
truth is, i've been running away from a lot of things.
a big part lies in my family.
as quoted from nessa:
"i can't stand being in this family anymore. had enough of these verbal abuse. it's like coming home to hell. so many nights wasted crying my eyes out where they should be spent studying. i need to get out of here."
doesnt that sounds familiar?
my parents are very good at the verbal
stuff.the many nights i get home to these but i'd try to block everything out and pretend that everything is fine.
like how we also play pretend when we're young.
i thought i'd handle it well.. by
not sweating over the small things.i thought by sleeping them all away, everything'll be fine.
i mean, it would be, wouldnt it?
we sleep, we wake up. it's a bright new day to begin with.
blah blah blah.
no, really.
i cant sleep well. all these while.
there isnt a night where i would just fall into a deep sleep and wake up only the next morning.
in fact, the mornings wake up to feels as though i hadnt even sleep.
i'm physically and mentally strained.
like how many times have i been saying this?
maybe i needed to cry, that's all?
all that crying over a
silly show makes me feel, kinda better?
(i dunno why i'm saying it's a silly show even when i do like it.)
doesn't it?
or maybe it's just pms?
making me all emotional, weepy and all?
ha.
i feel so alone.
and oh yeah.
it's not really that i hate being left alone at home.
really.
i just dont know how to call this a home.
i feel so alone even with all the people in it.
i felt even lonelier without.