Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

dearest all, i had a rather strange encounter with human relations stuff today-or whatever you'll call it. 2 new full-timers joined us the day before, one guy and one girl. i was wondering what is a guy doing at a cosmetics counter, i mean, which guy is really interested in cosmetics stuff unless he's halfway on the line or something? yet he looked very straight, especially with his specs on. sigh, then he had t go admit he's a gay. oh well, anyway, this isn't the strange encounter i wanted to talk about.

ya, so i got on pretty well with the new girl, let's call her X. ya, and she has the same name as this someone whom i was pretty close with once. so anyway, it's really such a small world(ok, more of like, such a small island). cos i found out she was from mass comm so i started asking if she knows good friend's "boyfriend", let's call my good friend C and her "boyfriend" K. and she told me she does and that K even started out liking her and everything. well, and she even told me how he almost like created a fan club for her with his friends or something-which i'm pretty sure i heard that but now i sort of wonder if my mind had drifted somewhere and imagined she said that line. but i am pretty sure i did not. cos once she told me how K had started out chaing after her and stuff, my brain immediately switched to alert mode, like a radar reading out signals. ok, of course i had to be really sure too if he's the K i was refering to.

i was getting kind of worried for C cos of her on-off relationship with K. and now X told me he had went after her before, i was all the more worried for C cos she told me he told her he had not chase after anyone other than C, herself. so what's this i'v e just found out. so i started digging for more. i mean, all i wanted to do was to learn what kind of person is K really like so i can in a way or another advise my dearest C. i really dont want her to be cheated or anything.

hmm.. then when i told C about my conversation with X, she was coincidently with K. so she ended up telling K what i had just told her right on the spot, then you know, stuff happened after one another. K got pretty upset i guess, didnt want his reputation tarnished or something so he called X to clarify. then X denied having told me those stuff. and C got back to me telling me what K had done and that X had denied this and that. that point of time i was kinda of angry at what happened. i mean, all i wanted to do was to try to alert C of what i've learnt, didnt expect the whole thing to balloon like this. secondly, i just got to know X and we clicked rather well, what would she think of me when she learnt that i just told my friend whatever stuff she told me and how do i explain to her the next day when i see her at work.

then.. much later, i came to realise that i was getting angry with a good friend over someone i barely know, over someone who might have lied to me just to boast or something, i dont know. i was feling pretty sad cos C and i just got closed again not long before, after a year plus of separation. ok, shall not dwell too much about here, so in the end, this thingy closed with perhaps, C and myself, still wondering whose words exactly we can trust.

ok, what's strange here. who exactly had lied? was it K cos he wanted to maintain a good impression of himself for C so he can go on with their on-off relationship. or was it X, but what's her intention? well, she didnt really have an intention here i guess, of maybe i have not found out. but i learnt that she'd probably lied to me that she has a bf of 7 years when in fact, according to K, her current bf is only 1yr plus.
why, i dont understand this dark dark side of human.

and myself, why did i actually get upset over this small thingy, like being afraid that i might not be able to explain to X. i didnt even have to, i mean, we are not even close or anything and ya, i barely know her.

yes blog, you're right. i probably am a real loser. no real close friends now except a boyfriend. perhaps i was even thinking of X as the former friend i had. i dont know. someone please get me out of my own shit. i hate being patronized by my own sorriness i'm always feeling for myself. i hate being friendless, lifeless, argh!

ok, i do have friends. lots of them. but no one close enough to make me feel like pouring everything out to, even C.. i just feel the gap, still left unfilled. i probably have alot more catching up to do with her.

ya, peeps, ever feel like holding on to your hp, with a long list of phone no. in your directory, yet no specific anyone you can really call? i do. ever meet sleepless nights thinking of the close friends you once had and pridelessly msged them and getting cold replies then crying yourself stupidly to sleep? i do. ever feel like a loser all alone in the whole with only a boyfriend to stand by you on bad times, and becoming over boyfriend-dependent and eventually insecure of anything, everything? i do.

someone please, fly me away. bring me with you to happy land.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004 at 11:55 PM

Y Y Y