ever lost something which meant alot to you? maybe a gift from a precious friend? your first love? i used to have this something i found in life. let's take it for a handphone. yup.
it brought me joy, we had fun. games that were installed to entertained me. it fights loneliness, especially when it rings with messages, with calls. it knows alot of my secrets, what i said to my friends, what i messaged..
mm, it's but a normal simple handphone. it isn't pretty like i would like it to be, it doesn't attract the attention i would have loved. it's pretty uncool.
i lost interest. and began to find faults with it. on days when i didn't need it, it started to ring for no reasons. while i'm enjoying myself, it brought me trouble. and when i finally felt sorry for myself once too often, i found no more consolence from it.
soon, a new model came out. it's coloured screen, has camera functions, and everything. a number one. love at first sight. alright alright, love after people wowed over it.
and so, i tried to find ways to lose my old handphone. lose patience with it for no reason. found more faults. finally i crashed it on the ground. once and for all, i got rid of it. i felt triumph and glad that i lost it. i felt like, i've won.
but of course, i've not. i completely lost the meaning of having a handphone. i disregard the old great times we had shared. sentiments that i've stopped caring for.
i've not gain but lost. lost comes with regrets and memories and sadness.
i still hold on to the gifts she brought me. the things we decided to buy together. our jokes. listening to all the stuff she told me of her brother, her friends, herself.
but now i'm telling myself.
it's time...
dedicating to her: I Wish You Love Lyrics by Barbra Streisand
Goodbye, no use leading with our chins
This is where our story ends
Never lovers, ever friends...
Goodbye, let our hearts call it a day
But before you walk away
I sincerely want to say...
I wish you bluebirds in the Spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love!
And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health, and more than wealth, I wish you love!
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never ever be
So with my best, my very best, I set you free!
I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
But most of all, but most of all...
When snowflakes fall, I wish you wealth
I wish you health...I wish you love!
goodbye...