Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

"i didn't ask you to wait where you'd be prone to get wet.if that was the case then i'd rather you didn't wait for me since you didn't have the intention in the first place."
what makes you think that i'd no intention to? should that really be the case, i would've let you know. waiting in the freezing rain with hardly any shelter is nothing to kid about. if i'd no intention, i'd have gotten onto the next bus and left. i didn't ask to stand at a place where i'd be prone to get wet either, how the fucking hell would i know if it's gona rain that day?! if i'd known it's gona rain, i'd not have stood there to wait for you.
"IF!" it can go on a whole long list.. the top of it all will be if i'd known that to wait there and withstand everything but in the end be accused of something else, i'd not even have cared to even go school that day!
"and for your info,things between you and ** is really your own business.you can confide in me but if you makeout polite question of concern for being interested in them, you've found the wrong person. you seek aspects in friendship that differ from mine."
if you're not interested to listen, you'd have told me. why force yourself to ask polite questions and led me to get the wrong idea. and for your info, i didn't for once think that you'd be interested to know, i thought you only asked out of concern. i'm sorry that you just found out we seem to have so many differences then..

it's not ironic about your first 2 points.
if you were in depression, what makes you're the only one? just cos you started out telling me bout what happened and how lousy you feel first, it doesn't mean i don't have problems of my own. if you even care to know, practically my whole family isn't talking to me. at least you've got your family to turn to, to seek some comfort in when you're feeling lousy out of home. i reach home each day to a family filled with hatred towards me, how do you think i'd feel? and on top of that, it's sad to say, but yes, sometimes i feel you're the only close friend i've got. you'd know what i mean, i guess..
and about the fucking pin and the whole issue with that entry i made, it was like, ages ago. i made that entry out of desperation on my part, i just needed to pen it down.
and like i've told you, i didn't lie, period. so many times it's just your suspicions getting to you but i didn't say anything, just cos you feel right in your bones that i seemed to be lying to you, it does not necessary be the case. i mean, it's just a matter of perception.

IT'S IRONIC when..
i thought you were the only one whom i can realy talk to all these while and it turned out that you were only bearing with me.
i thought you understood all along, but you didn't.
i tried my best to bottle up my own problems so as to keep our outings happy, but you think i'm not doing enough.

what exactly can i do then, to make you feel happy, that i've been sincere in the friendship?
if you want me to admit how afraid i'm of losing this friendship, i'll. but if the way you percieve things doesn't change, then nothing i say/do will ever be enough.
and i'd rather be in this world alone, then to trust anyone else ever again..

thanks for the flowers you sent last night. but what does it really meant, and the silence afterwards? for awhile i tried to make myself think that you'd miraculously got to know about my problems and thus, sent them to cheer me up. the next morning, everything's just a vague memory, i'm not even sure if you'd really sent me the flowers or did i dreamt about the whole thing..

Monday, October 20, 2003 at 1:50 PM

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