Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

"there are things in life that no one understands. they are those in life that you simply can't let go of."
i truly understood how you felt.
there's this girl who cherished friendships a lot.
part1:
she had some friends whom she had shared some great times with. laughters, fun, dreams that all set a mark to her secondary 3 life.
then she did some things-at a point when the friendship bond was no longer strong, and got herself into misunderstandings. made it worse by her reactions to the problems, and the stupid way she dealt with things.
her friends hated her, especially A(protect identity). they never want to have things to do with her again.
it was then her world crumpled down, no matter what she do, she just could not undo what she had done.

those crazy and great times she once shared with them...
funny talks about dreams to have their houses built in a U-shape with a swimming pool in the middle...
ridiculous make-over, vcd and pizzas, heart-to-heart talks, at A's house...
night swims: before exams, study by the pool; after exams, swim there almost everyday...
A stayed over at my place, the hilarious and embarrassing fart...
shoppings...
movies...
the past that will be nothing but memories now.

she tried a couple of ways to save what she had lost. wrote letters that she knows may not have ever been read, calls to cold replies, messages that are immediately deleted. all the desperate measures she had done, nothing helped. soon, they all left school, they never hear from each other for a long time.

she could blame no one, no one but herself...

part2:
so anyway, life must still go on. she found new friendship in secondary 4, her new buddy(B) to sit with in class. they had so much fun together, they just clicked. in alot of the lame things, they just found them hilariously funny. some things, we just don't have to analize too much anyway, fun comes first.

but when everything meant so much to her, teachers butt in and said she was too bad an influence for B. so they were separated. then she did something she should not have, again. B was hurt. but seriously, initially she was not even aware of what she had really done.

the friendship was damaged. and there's no more the old times, when they sat together.
no more silly jokes during lessons...
funny or love stories for one another...
punggol end outings, sunsets, sunrises, silly chats, pleasure viewings, sunburnts...

same thing, she tried all means to get B to see how sorry she was about the whole issue, but B just could not take it in.

this friend(T) of hers told her: "somethings you've to learn to let go. no point doing things. like shi(3) can(2) lan(4) da(3)"
there is nothing she could do but to move on. silent tears are inevitable, heartaches once in awhile when memories returned. she tried to find yet another happiness, just to realise that happiness will never be the same as before.

but in her heart she had never really let go. she truly believes that one day, they will be back. she does not believe in what T said, cos he had never truly believed in her anyway. so what if the hope is small, hold on, she told herself. she dares not think too far ahead, she only hopes for the day to come.

so one day in a bus, A messaged her again. nothing much, just a simple message to study hard.
and with that, it made her day. it is nothing great, but to her, it meant alot. no one will understand.
and now, she is friends with B again also. not as close, but things can be work out, if the chance is there.

sometimes, she felt like sticking up her nose and telling T triumphantly that some things we just have got to have faith. so what if she "shi can lan da", lost some pride here and there? the things she never want to let go, are finally back, bit by bit.

and so i told you, "hold on and be strong, you're not alone". people who don't understand, tried to tell us to let things go. easier said than done.

how do you let things go when more than once in a while you have to see the familiar landscapes or places where we've once shared moments with?
how do you forget that person when you have to she him/her almost everyday?

things are never that easy...but you and i, we are not alone...

Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 9:50 PM

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