i said:let's study hard n work towards our goals.
i think right now, those are more important then anything else, to me and to you.
xx says:
ya..better..
xx says:
finally you open up..
i bit back a tear and replied "haha..ok.."
guilty conscious and sadness gripped me.
someone said, "you can't know for sure if he's the one."
i have to admit she is right.
after all, i had felt that esmond was the one back then.
it took me months to get over him,
i lived through each day brooding over the fact that i couldn't seem to forget the times we spent together.
for months, i asked myself: will i miss him forever?
still, i got over him in the end.
true, once in a while i still think of him now and then,
but i know those are harmless thoughts.
so i guess,
it will goes the same for xx,
won't it?
i will go through the missing and brooding phrase
but in the end,
i will definitely be able to get over it,
won't i?
so it's not wrong i guess,
to not let him know how i truly feel now,
isn't it?
i guess it isn't just about how right you feel in one's arms.
how do i explain the way i feel when i'm with him?
so i may be able to wipe away the tears
and pretend i'll be alright.
but what if i ever regret my decision?
what can i do then?
forget it, i should not be brooding over these now.
i've made the decision and i've done it.
if we can be less stressed this way, so be it.
we are just not meant to be, i guess.
it's time i stop being so clingy for once.
it's silly how i still wish he'll read this entry
and come back to my life.
terribly pathetic.
"you don't need a guy to make me happy." nessa said a long time ago.
yes, you're right.