Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

time to let go...

well, i just found her new .:BLOG:. . (you hear me? i found it! nanabubu! and i don't write 'pity me' entries ok, loser?! well, unless you, yourself, think that it's, then that's just too bad.)
ok, i didn't exactly "run into" it or something. someone(A) offered to show me her new blog sometime last week. didn't want to then. felt that since she had her means to not let me go to her blog, i guess there's no point to go on and visit it. well, that was then.
just now i had this sudden yearning to read her stuff. (missing her..? duh! *shrugs*) then i realised... oh fuck, why did i even start to miss her? why did i even felt certain dumb things? why did i even out up that stupid entry on 11th june? i can't help but wonder if (A) was mocking at me then. how unfair of me to think that way of her, but i just can't help it.
anyway, after reading all that stuff, i didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. haha. ok, weird. cos part of me felt totally pissed off, but i felt this urge to laugh out loud. (laugh at my own stupidity? haha, ya, i guess.)
and there's "the friends who almost came back" thingy.
i really wonder what happened to my resolution to chose solitude as my pride. feel so pissed with myself.
then i visited Bam's blog. her 2nd new entry, totally woke me up. (thanks, miss tan.) so felt like copying and pasting her that particular entry here, but well...
nevermind i guess.
perhaps i should be thankful for who's around me right now and put everything behind.
and i really feel this sudden crazy urge to hate her with all i have. I HATE YOU TOO! blah! prrrrf..!!!

family issue
Father's Day...
was such a great day. finally all that delaying and broken promises, my mom brought me out on a shopping spree. had lots of fun and extravagant splurges.
spent away the 250bucks my mom gave me for the S'pore Sale thingy. bought clothes, some of which i regret buying now. haha.
oh, before the shopping part we went to Goodwood Park's salon place-my mom's godsister salon. she had her hair dyed red!! totally kewl. i mean.. argh, she just rocks. haha. and it suits her well, not like the cheena aunties with their hair coloured gold, and look as though they're... i don't know lao ah lians? oh, anyway, she was having her hair dyed, with all that foil stuck to her head, while 2 other girls did manicure and pedicure for her. so felt like taking a pic of her then. LOL. she looked like those typical tai-tais in TV! but of course, she's not. she worked hard, worked her ass off at my dad's, and that was what she deserved. sometimes i think she worked too hard. she doesn't sit around and shake her leg while my dad pay for all her stuff. this is what i love about my mom.
but she has her weird moodswings, which can be pretty tiring and painful. like, she'd suddenly give me that 250bucks just for the shopping spree at one time, then the next moment make a big deal out of almost nothing. well, i shouldn't go into that today.
then after all that shopping, with my sister tagging around(hee!), we had family dinner at A Y A Restaurant(don't wana put the whole name up). the food was great, but i think it's not something worthy to spend all that money on .but dad had sudden cravings for that stuff, and it was father's day, so well... and i ended up forking out 60bucks, but it only like covered 1/5 of the bill, the rest my dad n my mom paid. haha. typical.

but throughout that dinner, i was thinking...
while people in other countries probably doesn't have enough to eat, not to mention those who are starving; i'm here with my family enjoying these delicacies, so unknown to them. so i didn't exactly enjoyed that dinner. too much went through my mind during the dinner, biting at my consciousness(is this the right word?!).

all in all, i did enjoyed that day. i mean, it's a long time since we had family dinner, since my mom is interested to bring me out, since...... i felt so lucky, than others out there. and dad and i came a long way, fought many hard battles and emotion struggles to this relationship we so cherish right now.
thanks dad, happy father's day. so many things left unsaid between us, so many thing si wana tell you, but... ya, there are always the "but"s.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003 at 11:38 PM

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