in a different light
got myself into unnecessary trouble. should have known better myself actually. never should have brought the poker cards to school. darn!
have had it with all the teachers having all these biased views about me and assuming i'd always be the bad kid.
or maybe i'm..? after all, nah, never mind, better not go into this now..
anyway, could be cos i had had the last straw of everything happening these days. could not help but break down today.
find myself getting more and more vulnerable(yuk!) these days. keep having this urge to cry. but it's ok, i'm good at biting them back! =P
finally cried my heart out in the toilet today. and then again in the arms of krystle.
but over all, it's all not that bad cos i saw everyone in a different light today.
there are the cowards, who'll never stand up for what they do, take up certain responsibilties. lack of guts, i'd call them.
there are also the ones who'd offer to take some part of the blame even when they're not really at fault. mm..no comments about them actually.
there are also the ones who gave the reassuring pats on the shoulder, words of comfort, a private note with comforting words. to them, thanks alot.
then there's krystle.
she offered not just assurance, not just comforting words, not just promises to help take up part of the blame.
she offered a shoulder to cry on, and her tears to cry with me.
i was extremely touched.
all these while i felt like there's this big dark shadow casting over me, and i thought i was so alone to myself and all my problems.
then krystle offered this sudden humane touch.
i did kinda wonder how come she'd cried also.
and for some time, i thought it could be because she may be facing certain problems too, thus know how i feel and felt for me.
then i remembered the countless times when i actually felt deeply enough for weilin, towards the problems she'd faced, and how i also felt like crying with her at that point.
and i got to realise, perhaps, krsytle felt that way too.
i may be too sensitive, interpreted a small act too much or something. but nevertheless, this is how i feel.
so thanks, krystle.(if you're reading this)
i know i'm not alone now. i love ya, ger!
er,
SHE's starting things again. so i better go first. catch up again another day!