Purely Your Imagination

vera in context.

vera's johari

(ripped this somewhere which i think is really true!) ARIES WOMAN >> >>She thinks the world is watching her through the eye glasses of rose petal >>frame. She thinks people think and talk about her only about good things >>and often disappoint to know the fact that they are not true and not even >>real, so she will feel hurt. She think her path has to be a beautiful one. >>She >>think only good things so she prepares and always make arrangement for >>herself to be in the right path always, quite systematic indeed. >> >>If there is no guy in her life, she will be busy with herself. This >>seemingly ordinary woman will push herself to meet her goal. Her face >>mostly will be slim and long, high cheek bone, Eye brow slightly curve up, >>slight tall more than short, thin lips and she will have quite a confusing >>or mixture of character. >> >>Sometimes, she will be very careful about guy she will mingle with. She >>thinks as if she has a main CPU in her head and she could memorize >>everything from her childhood. When she faces with problems, she will >>handle them and solving them very well, and at the same time showing other >>people >>that she has that capability. She can put her mind in solving problems in >>crisis better than many other Zodiac. Once she determine to do thing, >>nothing will stop her. >> >>Woman in this Zodiac could be totally different from one woman to another >>woman. You could see her in the party dancing like flash dance or dirty >>dancing, as well you could also see her as an old fashion lady or a geek. >>She could be someone flashy and wanted by many men, or she could be a cold >>and non-social person. She will have her own way to win you over. Once she >>choose you, she will need to be proud of you. >> >>"Love" is not as important to her as "Marriage". Her real goal in life is >>"Safety" and her position in other people sight need to be "Secure". She >>plans her life, and socially life easily and very carefully. She is also >>very artistic and realistic, so if you are a nobody or nothing, no chance >>because she loves ambition and a good life. She need lots of love, but do >>not >>want and do not belief in an occasional or unconventional love. >> >>She is a proud in nature type, so if you see a woman in this Zodiac come >>from a poor family, she will act like a woman from a noble family by birth >>anyway (certainly there are always exception). She always look cool even >>when she is not. She like to make people see her as "secure and confident" >>even she is a mixed emotion and mixed character type. If she is mad, you >>can tell right away and she can stay moody for quite a long time. >> >>You never have all her times, for she likes to work hard and also spent >>some spare times working for charity. You will see woman in this zodiac a >>"Volunteer" for camp, and if she is in a high society, she will most >>likely be a president or a V.P. of a "Club". She is a romantic and >>artistic, but being poor and unstable is certainly not in her dreams. Her >>beautiful >>imaginations need to be realistic, for failure is not in her plan. >> >>A Goat always climb high, so either she start from a low point or a high >>point, she will make sure at the end she will have the best spot. She will >>not show her ambition, but she will show that she satisfy with herself >>now. Once you look back she already moved up again , quietly but sure. >> >>If she is your love one, be supportive and understand her. She is >>stubborn, but she will listen. She will act like a gentle fragile person, >>but in fact she can stick you down like a super glue without you knowing >>it.

i want/i need.

air. love. food. air. air. air.

had this dream last night.
was falling and falling in this mass of blackness, and everyone around me was some sort of chanting : YOU! YOU! YOU! it's so stupid, yet so scary and so real.
somehow, i seemed to also know i'm dreaming at that time. but no matter how hard i willed myself to wake up, i can't! then i just suddenly like, "jerk awake" and i was perspiring all over and gasping for breathe. like i had been running. then i realised, i wasn't really falling and falling in the blackness, i was kind of running.

all in all, the dream really scared me.

haven't had this dream since quite long ago. remember the last time i had it, a few days later i did something which i almost costed my life. dreams can really be weird and mysterious. both times when i had this dream, i felt like the world was closing upon me, like everything out there had turned so bad, there's nothing i can do. and i just felt like dying, ending this little miserable life of mine. death, what a quick yet irresponsible way of ending all troubles. and the dumbest way too. but sometimes, no matter how many times had i told myself sternly, never ever to think of repeating that mistake of mine again, these stern resolutions just flew out of the window when there's a real need.

so many times i wish life can have this "delete" key. whenever something i had done had turned out all wrong, and i wish i hadn't done that, i can just hit that key and ~blam! a brand new life! the dumb things i did, the wrong(s), the regretful(s), the stupidity(s)- the what we call mistakes. do people realy learn from mistakes and refrain from them? can people forgive and forget a mistake when someone else made it? mistakes, mistakes.. man's weakest point?

Sunday, April 20, 2003 at 6:44 PM

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